My husband and I quite drinking for January. Bottom line, we were drinking too much. It just wasn’t healthy any more. Speaking for myself, I was using alcohol as a crutch for stress – but now I see that I was caught in a vicious circle. I’d feel stressed, drink some wine…(repeat for three nights in a row)…feel crummy from dehydration and poor sleep…less able to handle stress, I’d drink some wine…stop for a night out of guilt…feel stressed, etc. It just wasn’t working. I didn’t want to admit it because then I’d have to deal with, well, whatever I was avoiding by drinking.
I also have a view of “evening” as “Adult Time,” and I used wine as the delineation of that time. But, at some level, the symbolism became more important than the impact of it. In other words, when I struggled with parenting, having a glass of wine was like my way of saying, “I’m not a parent now because I am drinking.” Which we can also call, “bullshit.”
J easily agreed to this little break because he is trying to get back into good health, too. Instead of wine, I drink tea. Quite a lot of tea.
Here are some things I have discovered so far:
1. I no longer enjoy the taste of cheap wine. I don’t care if it has a decent rating on the card at the grocery store, if it is on sale for $4.99, it isn’t going to taste full, or rich, or pungent or any of those other classy words used to describe a bottle costing $40 or even $20.
2. I have energy all the way through the day, rather than slowing down around 3pm. In fact, I have been significantly more productive and able to handle my busy life.
3. I’m not yelling at L in the mornings about getting ready for school. (That’s worth its weight in gold, really.)
4. I’m not bloated. Enough said.
5. I generally just feel better.
I am not swearing off alcohol. I enjoy the taste of beer and wine. Instead, we will purchase good tasting beverages, enjoying them as special occasions, a choice done with thought and care. I am very much looking forward to that delicious red wine that’s coming in a couple of weeks, because it will be something earned.